


Better Hoards and Lairs (or On the Exhibition of Comics and Makeup)

by scribblemyname



Series: Yuletide 2014 [8]
Category: Unusual Dragon Hoards - iguanamouth
Genre: Curtain Fic, Domestic Fluff, Dragons, F/M, Gen, Hoarding, Yuletide Treat, casual romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-01 18:51:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2783972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scribblemyname/pseuds/scribblemyname
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What does a dragon who hoards comic books have in common with a dragon who hoards makeup?</p><p>A dragon-worthy, fannish love of <em>Better Hoards and Lairs</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better Hoards and Lairs (or On the Exhibition of Comics and Makeup)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Artifactrix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artifactrix/gifts).



> Prompt: Are dragons fannish about their hoards, or just acquisitive, or both? Tell me a story about some dragons who are super into their weird collections of stuff!

The pages of the latest issue of _Better Hoards and Lairs_ lie splayed open across the human-sized coffee table atop a smattering of well-loved (thus well-worn) comic books.

The dragon curled up on top of a stack of hardcover comic collections (all well-kept, but also well-loved) looks to be a mere two or three decades old, judging by his being roughly the size of a human child. His claws are newly well-trimmed and retracted, probably so as not to poke any holes in his beloved comics.

The comics have taken over everything.

He _is_ a dragon, and this is to be expected, but the stacks seem endless and neatly organized by pristine condition to well-read.

The dragon tucks one foot over the other while reading and points out amiably to his pretty, white-coated guest that, "A valuable hoard is both well-kept and well-used."

"Admittedly," she agrees, admiring her handiwork on his clawed feet. She is still fiercely defending her hoard exhibition rights for manicures and pedicures from the much older dragon who hoards nail polish in particular, and thus matches skills with said hoard. But she hoards _all_ makeup and knows how to apply beautification for functional effect, in this case hoard protection for a comic book lover. "You have a very nice hoard," she tells him, drawing out the 'c' in 'nice' with her slithery tongue.

Her host perks up, lowers his comic book, and untucks his foot. She has a good half foot girth on him, but they're of sufficiently similar size and stature that he might have noticed she is eligible. He holds out the book to her. "Would you like to try one?"

She preens and curls up on the coffee table near _Better Hoards and Lairs_. "I think I shall read your magazine. I heard there's a spread about a hoard of pastries."

Both of them lick their chops at that.

* * *

She moves in by the end of the week, pleased with his hoard, pleased with his manners.

"Nattikin—the hoarder of nail polish," she adds by way of introduction and/or explanation, "has a huge series of display cases showing off all his colors."

She eyes her magnificent pile sprawled over their shared bedroom, the only place it wouldn't endanger his precious comic books and where it would provide comfortable bedding, and sighs deeply. "Your hoard is prettier. It exhibits well."

"I don't have enough guests over," he points out as he settles in with three selected comic books he intends to read tonight before sleeping.

Dragon lovers understand the need to share their spouses with a hoard. It is the nature of dragons.

She sits up on her compacts and concealers and eyeliners and scale highlighters. "I could bring guests if you'll help me organize this."

He snuggles his green ridge spines back into the heap. "It's very comfortable."

"We'll keep the used ones." She flutters her white wings at him.

"Very well."

* * *

They consult _Better Hoards and Lairs_ , shamelessly borrowing ideas from a hoard of books, a hoard of beads, and then lose almost a day admiring photographs and illustrated artwork of the hoard of stars.

"There's only one," he tells her, running an admiring claw gently over the image of the original dragon amidst his stars.

"Well, we can't _all_ be original," she replies, wings flaring.

They consider that, sigh, go back to work. His comics are gloriously everywhere, a maze and wonderland of comics with a neat path leading to the display they are making of makeup behind it. She will have guests. She will exhibit her work on their beautiful wings and claws and scales and tails and eyes, and they will read comics books while she works her art. It will be worth it.

* * *

He complains when he finds pink smudges on one of his pristine originals. "This is a human comic. I don't get these every day."

"So sorry," she apologizes profusely and calls up her friend who hoards breakfast foods for a consolation.

He forgives her when she plies him with a fat stack of pancakes.

* * *

She has difficulty shading a guest's eyes when said guest is engaged in enthusiastic conversation about the latest dragon-illustrated run of _Treasure Finders_. The dragon who hoards art supplies has been branching out, and the comics dragons enjoy are taking a turn for the higher quality.

"Please hold still for a moment," she says, then snaps, "Your mouth too!"

Her spouse's green ridge goes flat against his tail and he whisks away his comic book to get out of her way.

She forgives him when he snuggles up next to her on retired makeup brushes and containers with a blanket from the famed double-hoarding blanket couple. It is rare that two dragons hoard the same things together.

"So soft," she murmurs and kisses his pretty scales.

* * *

They visit other hoards on the weekends.

He is stunned and pleased to be invited to the Librarian's Hoard, exhibited by an ancient dragon with centuries of experience and valuables and the most beautiful white skull she's ever seen.

She is flattered and delighted to be invited to exchange tips and stories with the dragon who hoards nail polish. He doesn't even feel offended at her full services exhibit. "I prefer to stick to claws, my dear. Have some more tea."

They are both honored to be allowed to curl up on the snuggly warm pile of blankets the smiling couple hoards. So many beautiful colors and such fine weaves!

"I want bookcases," he tells her after they leave the latest visitation.

"To hoard or to display?" she asks, merely to confirm the obvious. It is quite rude to be viewed as assuming things about another dragon's hoard.

"To display."

He untucks the comic book under his arm and she glances in her compact mirror to check her makeup. Dragons are never without a sample of their hoard.

"Let's visit the Owl Tree. He'll know where to find the best wood."

Accordingly, they visit and request wisdom of the Great Owl Dragon, alive before their parents started dreaming of their eggs. He dispenses wisdom, they visit the appropriate hoard for a request, and then they return with bookcases.

And bookcases.

* * *

The comics still cover the walls. His favorite mint condition issues face outward on the upper shelves. The well-read ones fill shelf after shelf in traditional dragon fashion, with spacers to make it easier to snatch with one's claws. The comfortable area where she applies makeup fills the center of their lair, and their favorite comics to read are scattered tastefully throughout across the furniture piles.

She hums to herself while shading wings and scales with beautiful colors as their guests read comics and chat with the host.

It's a good life. Worthy of a spread in their favorite magazine.


End file.
